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Catherine Fischer

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Blues [Jan. 31st, 2005|06:53 pm]
Catherine Fischer
[mood |draineddrained]
[music |Strange Cargo 2, William Orbit]

Yesterday I worked from 6:30 am to mid-afternoon, went home, slept. Ate dinner with Jaime and Elise – fondue, rich ravioli. 2 blocks from my house. I love being in the heart of it all. I’ll really love it when I have a life to go with.

Dreamed last night of sneaking up behind a dangerous angel to see his rat tail, and getting cursed – some sort of geas, or quest. Then dreamed of a giant empty parking lot at night, and driving Chibi (my Daihatsu, on St. Kitts) in a slalom through it, the headlamps illuminating the empty black tarmac before me – I was being stood up on a date, and was depressed, finding excuses to hang around for a truly unreasonable amount of time (it was after midnight). Woke up dry, aching, down. Went back to work (6:30 am).

Snowing. Sparkling, floating snow, like Times Square at midnight, New Year’s Eve. Light dusting of it over the whole world, a winter wonderland.

Finished surgery this morning. All of the Minnesota students on this round went to Thailand together, and left Jaime and I holding the bag. We were both pretty irritated. They didn’t even write up the treatment sheets the night before, which is the really time-consuming part. I was pretty stressed. Lost it and started crying when one of the residents pointed out yet more stupid errors I made yesterday when I was overworked and overtired. The longer I’m here, the stupider I feel.

I was late to my first day of necropsy. I missed everyone’s names, and where stuff was. They told me – I forgot again. Watched a really thorough necropsy – forgot the order everything was supposed to happen in. Can’t think anymore – I’ve gone senile and should give up. Necropsied a dog we'd treated in surgery, and the other Rossie in the rotation had diagnosed in medicine: a Jack Russell with a large extrahepatic porto-azygous shunt, who acquired an ameroid constrictor, and then began seizuring. We couldn't control his electrolytes, especially sodium. We could only barely control the seizuring with phenobarbital. And then he died.

Home again. The snow has all melted. Hazy day, grey sludge on the berms everywhere. Traffic. And homework. And way too much to do that's important.

I dream of sleep.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: renae127
2005-02-01 09:56 am (UTC)

Catherine!!!

Am I going to have to come and beat you silly??? You are one of the most intelligent people I know!! Stop that right now!! You have been sick, stressed, recently moved, etc etc. You are tired and worn out.....but not stupid. You are going to be an awesome vet! Hang in there and try to get rest or power naps when you can....even for ten minutes. You will and CAN do this. Much love.
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[User Picture]From: easyaudnsage
2005-02-01 11:20 pm (UTC)

I believe in ya....Yeah for dead things!!

Cat,
I'm glad that SAS is over!! Sorry that the students left you & Jamie hanging...but you know what the difference is b/w them & you (and you know that I know too & I'm not surprised.) Rest up these next two weeks. Necropsy will be fun & relaxing I hope. Call Hillary or Dawn if you want company or someone to go to dinner with. Try to get to Barbette's for dinner or Sunday brunch! Food is awesome & atmosphere you will love! I believe in you. And don't worry...the resident or clinician was a student at one time & forgot things too. They see the same things over & over again. You haven't...but you will. Take care & enjoy the city for the next couple weeks! I'm jealous. Thinking of you & sending you good vibes! Sage sends wags & kisses!!
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