||[Jun. 17th, 2004|03:28 pm]
|||||Merengue - mixed collection||]|
Packing for my weekend of diving in Saba, I dragged out an old journal I haven't used since I got here (preferring to type my journal entries); I swore I wouldn't go traveling without some sort of journal at my disposal ever again. First page: the poem I wrote in farewell, the day after my Mom died. Urk. Still in its original draft.
Took a deep breath, clipped that page to the front cover, reached for a decent pen.
And a card fell out of the middle of it, which I had originally found in my luggage on arriving in St. Kitts, August 2002. From Kevin. Filled with sentiments I have not heard in a long, long time.
That was somewhat harder. So I'm uploading here.
Question is: do I keep it? There may be a day I receive no more love letters. I still have an email from him I cannot bring myself to delete. Part of me wants to chuck it in anger, get the feel of it off my fingers like burning plastic. Part of me wants to stash it away -- for what? So it can boobytrap me again? I don't know.
I'm terrible about letting go of the past. I swear, if nostalgia weren't such a powerful force in my life, I wouldn't have made half the mistakes I have. I'd be a lighter traveler through life, eyes only on the seas ahead of me.
To continue the "booby" theme -- thank you, thank you all who have written letters of support re: the spectre of breast cancer; my breasts haven't gotten this much fan mail in years!!!
Well, back to studying for my epi exam tomorrow! Maybe I can make it out to Salsa Night with Katie, do a little dancing, if I'm good...
Ha ha ha ha ha! I love you, dearling! What's a best friend for, if not to get me to laugh at myself? Actually, do you have any of the old stuff digital? Might be fun to show folks what I USED to be like! (*Wicked laugh*)
Somehow, I'm not surprised at the fact you have a love letter file. I actually do, too -- in storage (I'm getting tired of that phrase). And Kevin and I have an entire box, from the days when we were courting, days when we were planning our marriage.
Our marriage -- the good bits -- is all documented on paper, as we courted chiefly via email. Paper tiger; it was only good on paper. And a long, long silence from that last catastrophic year and a half.
Not a single love letter from your wife of 7 years? She lived entirely in her head, didn't she? The casual, small cruelties of those with no emotional side.
Then again, I'm not sure I ever wrote you a proper love letter, either, although you are absolutely one of the most important people ever to be in my life. Heh. What could I possibly say, now, that I haven't tried to tell you every day, in gratitude for your love and friendship?
Well, call me sentimental!! I have two boxes of notes from every really good friend, boyfriend, etc, clear back to the sixth grade! I have no idea why I save them.....like when am I going to sit down and read them?? But, just can't toss them.
As far as boobs....yes, I'm wishing you luck. Keep us abreast (that was bad) of the findings. I know that it feels really uncomfortable and scary. Been there, done that, got the t-shirt. Uh....pictures??? What pictures??? Catherine??? Fess up!
THAT WAS KARA -- DON'T BLAME ME!!! (Then again, she got to witness, firsthand, the whole ludicrous story of that POSTER of my ass all over Sacramento... ha ha ha ha ha ha!)
Yeah, the woman's good at getting info from me... good thing I'm not the secretive sort! (You can tell she was a detective...)
Mwah ha ha ha ha! OK, so we're all sentimental saps... but it's nice having reminders of being loved.
As for keeping you abreast of the findings... god's TEETH, woman -- I thought I'd escaped the terrible puns when Kevin left me! ARRRGH!
Pictures: it's a little difficult, when one's best friend is a photographer, not to end up posing nude at some point! The work was high art -- nothing too shocking -- but a nice reminder, now, of what I looked like then. Maybe put something up on .Mac later, since it's a bit difficult for Dave to showcase some of his art, now that he's a high school teacher!
The shocking stuff I will never 'fess up to! ;-)
2004-06-18 03:47 am (UTC)
Re: Love notes
Tee hee....you forget that I am an FBI trained investigator. :) Give me wine and a funnel and you are in trouble. :) Yeah, sorry for the bad pun.